A thousand apologies

Okay.


Everyone knows that starting afresh means a year later. I have NOTHING to apologize for. How do you make that little embarrassed face again?

Ever since I was about 11 I've consistently been a depressed person. I go through my highs and my lows like everyone, I just have a lot more lows than highs. I lose all energy, all motivation. I just...sink. Oh well, thus is life.

Writing a blog seems like an overwhelming chore sometimes. Later, I'm disappointed I didn't just do it and it seems insurmountable to catch up again.

When I found out I was pregnant I picked up a beautiful journal to write about my experience for August. I wrote a sentence and a half....I'm not kidding. I stopped writing in the middle of my second sentence.

I don't know why I'm like this...and I DEFINITELY don't know how someone like me got so lucky with Augie. She is AMAZING. She's such a good girl...she really is. She's smart, verbose, coordinated, even-tempered, loving, kind. Heck, she's practically potty trained!!!

While I secretly think I'm a pretty good mother, I also don't think I'm good enough for her. I don't play enough with her, I'm not patient enough.


Wow....this is turning into a bummer-fest.

Anyway....Augie turned a year old. Well, at this point she's 19 months. Tim and I got married. We had a nice wedding with, granted, a few hiccups. Hiccups including a breakdown, forgetting the rings, forgetting the programs, not organizing certain things enough.

Side note: I love "Phineas and Ferb"

Had my 10 year reunion. Besides having to stop a HUGE catastrophe between an ex and an old school chum it was fun. Tim and I always have a blast dancing like weirdos.

Augie has a pool group on fridays...she loves it. Finally, something she gets from me. Her love of swimming.

How many times can I say I was hot?

So it's a while since I blogged, and life has progressed as it seems want to do. for the first time in months, I saw my friend Naomi. It was really nice seeing her again -- we went to the bookstore and ran a few errands before hanging out at home for a bit. I showed her some of the wedding stuff I'm working on ( i.e. physical manifestations of every possible frustration). We made plans to hang out again soon, and I look forward to it very much.

Today, I got together with my future sister-in-law Nadine. We went to the zoo. Today. I wore jeans. Today. Yes I keep repeating the word today -- it was freaking hot! What was it, 95° or so? For those of you know me, I do not do well in the heat. I only have two pairs of pants that fit me -- they are jeans. Needless to say, I was warm. In fact, when I saw myself in the mirror when we went to lunch, I much resembled the ((((((I was going to make a Ted Kennedy joke here....but maybe I'll forgo))))))

Anyway, time with Nadine is always enjoyed. I wish I'd taken pictures...bummer.

Onto the big one...I'm trying to plan our wedding. Tim and mine; I'm not marrying you...unless you is Tim, and then....okay. I've got most of the things I need to make the invitations, I put a deposit on the hall, I called a potential caterer, I emailed a potential pastor at the potential church and....I can't think of anything else with potential at the moment.

On the bright side, this happened the other night-listen carefully-it really sounds as if she's saying bye-bye....and Tim's face when she does is PRICELESS!